Thursday, November 18, 2010

Queery The Gay Gourmet™! Ep.1

Hello Gorgeous!

Welcome to Queery The Gay Gourmet™! The Q & A section of my blog where I answer your questions! Whether it's a kitchen disaster, you need a menu idea, or just want to shoot the ham I'm here for you! Feel free to send all "Queeries" to

Now I received this letter the other day and boy what a predicament! But this is an easy fix! Read on!


Hey Michael!

I am Tyler Williams, a luxury/lifestyle publicist and fashion blogger in NYC and I'm not exactly well-aquainted with my kitchen. Whenever my boyfriend needs to hide something from me (i.e. birthday presents), he hides it in the kitchen.

Please keep in mind that this is approximately a 5x5 space, as we live in Manhattan. I digress.

The other day, the boyfriend gently suggests that I cook something, so I reluctantly agree to put the mango-chutney turkey burgers he did on the George Foreman grill.

In college, I mostly survived on a diet of grilled chicken (created with said George Foreman), peanut butter and red wine, so I thought I could handle grilling two patties. Instead, the patties stuck to either side of the George Foreman for their dear lives, creating the shredded mess you see in the picture. I ended up cooking the shreds as they were, creating a kind of shredded turkey burger sandwich. Meanwhile, I burned the flatbread (also seen in the picture) for the burgers. So, essentially, can you help me figure out how to keep my grilling appliances from destroying my food so I am less distracted and can remember to take the bread out of the oven? Help me Gay Gourmet!!

Tyler Williams

Oh where to begin!

Someone once said a way to a man's heart is through his stomach and I believe it..even though I may have been accused of trying to get there other ways...I digress. My point is that every girl, boy and in between should have a back pocket of tricks (other than bedroom ones or a phone full of them) that can keep things fresh, spicy and your significant other wanting more! moooore! moooooore!

So i want to touch on a couple things here

First Tyler I need to applaud your efforts and tell you BE NOT AFRAID of your kitchen or its appliances! By the time I'm done with you you are gonna be a pro!

Second...So you have a 5x5 kitchen...well baby here I''ve got you beat as I maybe have 2 feet of kitchen space in which I'll be cooking Thanksgiving for 12. So what I'm trying to tell you is that SIZE DOES NOT matter in this instance! Not that we are comparing sizes!

Thirdly it sounds to me from your letter that your Mans (yes I said mans) made the burgers and you cooked them. What a great way to spend some new quality time together! Especially since it seems like he's often alone in the kitchen. The kitchen can be very sexy..raw meat aside (don't you get any ideas..)

Alrighty the burgers & Mr. Foreman...

First off it sounds like you didn't grease up Mr. Foreman. Think of it like a gay man! He needed those big muskles (yes I said muskles) greased up before a fight and his grill needs some grease before you cook on it. Whether it's some PAM®, some olive oil on a napkin that you wipe the grill with or some DELICIOUS pats of butter that you soaked the burger in you need it. Especially since it doesn't sound like this is the newest of appliances and that's why it comes it that little grease'll all drip out at the end!

PLUS remember when I was talking about kitchens being sexy? I have one word for you.. Grease..

Another thing that may have caused your sticking problem is that you didn't leave the grill closed long enough. Depending on how big your burgers were they take a good few mins to cook and cook through. If you were grilling on a normal grill an 8 ounce turkey burger probably would take about 4 to 5 mins per side. If you lifted your ungreased Foreman too early of course it was gonna stick.

Lastly your meat should be dry before putting it in a pan or on a grill. The last thing you want it to do is to seize and get tough! (dont you get any ideas..)

Here's what I would have done in your situation cause it sounds like you had a good thing going!

Turn on the Foreman as soon as you start seasoning cause you want it nice and hot.

I would have taken your turkey meat and seasoned it with some fresh chopped garlic, cilantro or parsley (don't forget to wash it) and some salt and pepper. (some people, like my mom, Gladys, like to put an egg or egg white into the meat cause it acts like a binding can or cant..i don't think it matters in this instance)

You also can throw a few jalepenos in there if you want to spice it up. Cut them length-wise and using a spoon remove ribs and seeds as that's where all the heat is. (CUIDADO! that you don't touch your face, eyes, mouth or any other delicate body part on you or your man as it'll burn and be very unpleasant!) chop them up and throw 'em in!

Whether you add the jalepenos or not mix it well..yes with your hands lady!

Once the meat is seasoned, form them into palm sized pattys and set them aside on a plate. (wash your hands) Then, depending on how many pattys you have take about a tablespoon of butter for each patty and over med low heat watch it melt. It will melt fairly fast and burn if you don't watch it. Pour it into a bowl and then dip each patty in it, throw them the Foreman Grill and close it. (Weight Watchers® are cringing yet salivating at this point - if you don't want to be a fatty you can use PAM® or an Olive Oiled Napkin and wipe the grill with it before you heat it)

Chutney is basically vinegar, sugar and fruit.. so if you wanted it heated in the same pan that you melted the butter toss the chutney till lightly browned. Should only take a couple of minutes. You don't have to do this and it would make a nice topping unheated.

Lastly after you put the burgers on wait 5 minutes and then put your flatbread in your toaster, toaster oven or oven and set a timer for 5 minutes if you cant remember! Correct me if I'm wrong but don't all Foremans come with a bun warmer attached?? Lord knows I love some warm buns!

And there you have it my lovely!!

Treat your man well, feed him delicious things, give him good lovin' and he'll never leave your side.

P.S. The Gay Gourmet™ is single so do either one of you have a hot gay brother?!?!

Till next time!

Live Deliciously!

The Gay Gourmet™

The Gay Gourmet™ will answer your questions too! Send all "Queeries" to

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